Thursday, September 26, 2013

Women of Faith, Orlando 2013



This past weekend I had an opportunity to volunteer at the Women of Faith (WOF) conference at the Amway Center in Orlando. When I applied to volunteer 6 months ago I had no idea what to expect. But God. He knew, and when that application got to the other side he made sure it was chosen.
I signed up to be an usher, because, well, I thought I could do my job by myself, talk to very few people and still be refreshed and filled by what the speakers had to say. But God. He had other plans, and I feel like I need to share the testimony of how He worked in and through me this weekend. How he showed me that although what the speakers had to say would be uplifting, challenging and beneficial that only HE can truly refresh and fill me.


Two of my girl friends had gotten chosen as volunteers as well but had to back out for various reasons and I honestly considered not going at all, but my husband encouraged me to take the weekend for myself and I did. I arrived on Friday afternoon for volunteer training and once everyone was checked in we started with a prayer. I was excited to be there but nervous with the big group that assembled, if you know me you know social settings stress me out when I don’t know anyone. And I was already starting to feel anxious until we got down to the group of ushers, about 15 women total. As we waited, some of the staff spoke quietly and a group of 6 of us were taken to the side. We were told that they were short on product sales people and asked us if we were willing to switch and do sales. My first thought: Oh please no, not me, I’m not in the mood. But I felt a tugging from God saying, “stay put”. Two other women said no and when it got to me I obeyed that tugging and said yes.

We were taken around the arena and one by one the other women were left at the booths where they would be working and I was dropped off last at a booth with two other volunteers and one WOF staffer. We were trained and had some down time until the doors were opened. I was feeling a bit emotional and overwhelmed by the flow of people once we got started but I carried through, little did I know that God was softening my heart for what was to come. The group of women that I worked with were exactly who God planned me to spend my weekend with, and they were each in their own way an encouragement to me and I feel so blessed to have met them and spent the weekend with them.

The rest of the evening was a real treat for me, a Christian comedian who through his humor challenged me to be a better mom, Sheila Walsh who spoke from her heart and encouraged me in my walk, a CeCe Winans concert that lifted my spirit and blessed me in so many ways, and working in our booth on breaks and at the end of the night. Before we went home we all four held hands and prayed together. I was exhausted, yet refreshed and excited for Day 2.

On Saturday I arrived bright and early and ready for a full day. There were many speakers, and praise and worship music and a Third Day concert. But there were three moments that stood out for me:
Sheila Walsh, Holly Wagner and Lisa Harper sat on stage talking about various trials in their lives and how they got through them while trusting God. It was very powerful, but the real moment for me came when Sheila Walsh talked about her difficult relationship with her Mother in Law. (If you know me well, you can pick your jaw up now). I, too, have a difficult relationship with my Mother in Law. She’s a difficult person and I often use that as my justification to be difficult towards her. We have a strained relationship to say the least, and I choose to keep it that way. But, hearing Sheila talk about how she chose to love her Mother in Law through it, and even care for her at the end of her life hit me like a dagger. I typically go out of my way to avoid contact with mine, and here Sheila cared for a women who was so difficult towards her. She chose to see her the way God see her. Here I was in the company of thousands of other women struggling with many different obstacles, and this message seemed catered to me! That hit me so hard that as soon as the talk was over I went straight to the nearest restroom and literally sobbed in the stall. It was there, all by myself, sobbing, that my heart continued to be softened and molded.

A little later in the program, Holly Wagner spoke about her battle with cancer and how God used it to mold her. She spoke about how we often as Christians want to stay on the pretty side of life, on the shore instead of getting into the stormy waters. And again, I cried. So often I play Christian, but avoid any bumps in the road because of my fears. I stay away from what seems difficult and hope that no hardships come my way. I would even say that in some ways I distance myself from the Lord so that my faith won’t be tested. Holly’s talk helped me to realize that trials are a part of life and we should use them as opportunities to draw nearer to the Lord, to grow in our strength and to encourage those around us when they have trials. We can use our trials as tools to share our faith, instead of seeing them as punishments. What a lesson to learn!

After Holly’s talk I was feeling emotionally drained so much so that I didn't feel like I could handle any more for that day. I was asked to work in another booth for that break, and I was happy to be alone for a little while to continue to process what I took in that day. We did not end up going back into the auditorium for the rest of the day, we helped work the booth and talked for a little while. But, I felt an unsettling feeling in my heart, I felt God nudging me from the inside. I felt God telling me to ask the women that he had me working with to pray with me and for me: And these are the excuses I gave Him:

Um, no. I don’t do that, I don’t ask for help, I’m FINE!

But what if they have a bigger need than me?

Seriously, I already stretched myself enough by doing sales, and talking to all these women all weekend. I’m tired, I’m emotionally drained and I just need to be alone.

I will pray for myself when I get in the car.

I’m scared.

These wonderful ladies that I enjoyed spending time with are going to think there is something wrong with me. And I can’t let that happen.

And then I felt this voice tell me, “If you don’t do it, you’ll regret it”

At that moment I just knew I had to be obedient again. With tears in my eyes and a shaky voice I asked Mary (the staff person from Women of Faith) if we could pray together as a group, and we did. But, before we did, I had to share with the ladies how God had stretched me, how he asked me to do things out of my comfort zone and used my vulnerabilities to make me uncomfortable so that I had to rely on Him and how that allowed me to hear the messages that I needed to hear that day.

I type this with tears in my eyes and joy in my heart. For the first time in my life I felt God speaking specifically to me, moving mountains so that I could be right where he wanted me to be and with a group of ladies who will be in my heart always.

It was an incredible weekend, and I couldn't wait to share my testimony with my husband and my family and girl friends. There were many other moments, some awesome praise and worship, and I didn't even mention Max Lucado and what a blessing his words were to me, but these were the moments that felt life changing for me.

God is real, ladies, and real good, too.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Crying as I read.. Awesome testimony..... Love you girl....

Patti VZ said...

Wow, Michelle, you did an awesome job with this! Really touched my heart!